Help! I'm still having problems!?

So last night, I got too frisky masturbating, and ended up with my penis stuck in the ceiling. My so-called buddies/roommates haven't even bothered to help me down and took me as a circus freak or something. Should I call the fire department or something, and if so, how could I contact them by internet (I have a computer embedded into my ceiling, that's how I'm able to type this question)? My phone is on a desk and I can't get it.